July 4th

Today begins a long holiday weekend. A holiday that celebrates the birth of freedom. July 4th has always been one of my favorite holidays. Families and friends coming together to cook hamburgers and hotdogs outside on a grill; to make homemade ice cream; to enjoy the beautiful summer sunshine. Later in the night, as the evening air cooled, big beautiful bursts of color would light up the sky. It all seemed very romantic to me. I still love the 4th of July, but now as I celebrate the birth of our nation, a little piece of my heart will cry over the loss of someone I loved.

My father passed away July 4, 2002. Interestingly, I think he would have been pleased to leave this world on that day. He was a Korean War veteran and very proud of his military service. We draped his coffin with an American Flag which my mom proudly has displayed on her mantel. One day it will adorn mine as well. I don't mean this post to be sad for anyone who may be reading it, but I can't help the fact that it is on my mind this weekend. I celebrate that he left the world without pain; that he spent his morning teasing my mom and talking with a neighbor friend; that he was sitting in his favorite chair on the carport when his time came. But, I will probably always torment myself with the fact that Scott had asked me that morning if I wanted to go spend the day at my parents and I said, "no".

So here we are, holiday weekend upon us. I fully intend to enjoy the Fireworks and to do my best to remember what this holiday means, but please understand if my smile isn't as wide as it may have been a few years ago.

Rest well, daddy.