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I have moved! All posts from here have been uploaded at my new location - and new ones have been added. Feel free to drop by: http://reflectionsonmylife.wordpress.com/

Disturbed and Confused

I am usually the person raving about the newest book I have just read and encouraging others to read it. However, this one time I am going to save you some heartache and tell you NOT to read The Almost Moon by Alice Sebold. Stop reading now if you don't won't to be spoiled...I'll give you some space before I continue...



I was so excited to see another book by this author as I had loved her earlier work The Lovely Bones. I should have saved my excitement. The first chapter finds the protagonist, Helen, smothering her elderly, mentally ill mother with a towel after the the mother has soiled herself. After years of caring for her mother (who we will learn in flashbacks was an agoraphobic, yet very vain woman) Helen finally snaps. The rest of the book plays out over a 24 hour period that shows Helen dragging her mother's body throughout the house - washing it in the kitchen, sitting with it on the porch, and finally stuffing it in the basement freezer and cutting off the woman's braid as a memento. She calls her ex-husband and admits what she did and he tells her not to leave the house that he will catch the next plane and be there in the morning to help her. Obviously this means that she will drive away in her car to her best friend's house and have sex with the friend's son. Because that is what you do after killing your mother and stuffing her in a freezer.

How does the book end? I don't know. Did I finish the book? No. May I have found out that it redeemed itself if I had? No, I highly doubt that as well.

So basically in summary, this book is just bad. Don't read it!

Men With Fangs

Almost everywhere you look lately, someone is reading the book series "Twilight". If you are not aware of this phenomenon, let me explain...The Twilight series is a set of four books about a young, clumsy girl named Bella who falls in love with a vampire who sparkles. Yes, that's right - sparkles! Girls (and grown women!) across the nation have fallen in love with the sparkly Edward Cullen and are actually a little depressed that their boyfriends and husbands don't glow in the sun.

Now, I confess, I read the books and enjoyed them for what they were. Although, I'm solidly on Team Jacob - the werewolf who pines after Bella's heart and completes the love triangle that every good teen romance should have. I even have Jacob "flair" on my FaceBook page. However, I prefer my vampires a little darker, a little sexier, a little more dangerous. That got me to thinking... I actually "have" a vampire preference?? Yes, indeedy I do! Call it the bad boy mystique that good girls tend to gravitate towards but I would pick Spike over Angel any day!

Alas, dawn broke on the Twilight saga. No more Bella and Edward (at least until November when the movie releases). What will I do? Where I will find another dark, brooding man of the undead variety just waiting to emerge from the shadows?

He can be found in Bon Temps, LA! My current obsession is the HBO series "True Blood". Decidedly more adult in nature than "Twilight" (and I DO mean "adult". No child under 18 - possibly 25 - should in the room when the show is on) it definitely has its bad boys.

Will Sookie find herself in a love triangle between Bill and Eric? Someone completely different? Having read the books, I know the answer to that question. I won't spoil it for those who are just now finding this story, but I can tell you that Mr. Bill Compton is a bad, bad boy. Whether or not that is a good thing - I leave you to decide.

A Rose By Any Other Name...Part 2!

As a follow up to my previous post, here are a few more nicknames that I can not believe I forgot to mention...

Principessa ~ My friend Alan. Alan and I both have a love for the movie "Life Is Beautiful" and this name was inspired by a scene in the movie.

Lady Di / Princess Di ~ More people that I can count. The only time this nickname has ever gotten on my nerves was when it was used by a previous neighbor of mine. He was a single man about 20 years older than me with hair that looked like it had been shellacked to his head. He would get very drunk and sit out on his balcony and scream this to me when I would be walking from my car to my apartment. One time, he even met me in the hallway with his phone and asked me to talk to his mother. I was very glad when I moved away from him.

Goosh-Goosh ~ I'm not sure he would even remember, but my friend Jay from high school (who I'm very happy to have recently found again on Facebook!) gave me this nickname. It derives from the fact that I used to have a very long, thick braid. He would squeeze the braid and say it was "gooshy". That evolved into Goosh-Goosh. Even if he doesn't remember, I can't forget as he wrote it in my yearbook. I can honestly say from the bottom of my heart, if anyone else tried to call me that, they would probably be introduced to the back of my hand very quickly. However, he got away with it. You would just have to know Jay...

A Rose By Any Other Name...

For years, I have read the comic strip "For Better or For Worse" and have followed along with all of the trials and tribulations of the Patterson family. I would always giggle a little when Michael would *affectionately* call his sister Elizabeth "lizard breath." Having not grown up with any siblings of my own, I never had to endure this type of teasing. While reading one of the recent strips, I did begin contemplating nicknames and realized that I have more than I thought. Gratefully, most of these stem from actual affection from family and friends, although I wouldn't be surprised to find out that I had a few I didn't know about as well.

Di - not surprisingly, the most common, and used by family and friends alike. I suspect that this is an easy way for people not to have to deal with the whole "she spells her name one way but pronounces it a different way" drama.

DiDi - my cousin Doug called me this when he was a young child as he couldn't say my whole name. It actually stuck and even now in our 30s he will occasionally refer to me in this fashion.

D - a former co-worker was the first person to use this one. I can still hear him say (in strong southern accent) "Heeeyyy, D!"

Kingery - another former co-worker. He had a tough time for a few weeks after I married.

DiBeth - from my friend Lori in high school. I called her Lori Ann.

Cupcake - from my mom. :) She still addresses birthday cards, etc. to that name.

Be-Bop - again from my mom. This one actually fits me better than I would like to admit. A former high school boyfriend heard her call me that one day and really enjoyed a laugh! He started using it occasionally after that as well.

Baby Girl - from my dad. :) All girls should have a daddy like the one I had...

Liz - again from my dad. I actually prefer my middle name of Elizabeth over my given name. Dad would occasionally tease and call me Liz.

Angel / Honey / others that I won't type - my husband, Scott. Self-explanatory. :)

Beautiful - the maintenance man at my current job. LOL

Punkin - My uncle Dick. He was blind and I spent a lot of time as a teenager driving him around and we became very close. He has passed now, but I still smile when I think about him calling me that.

LadyBug - My manager at work. She is a very motherly type of person to her staff.

Jake's Mommy - the children in our neighborhood. They might not know my name, but they know my puppy is named, Jake!

I must confess that I have casually adopted "D" for myself. I tend to sign notes and emails that way.

So while I don't currently have anyone in my life to call me "lizard breath" (for which I am forever grateful) I have plenty of other names to which to answer. Even the ones that may grate on my nerves a little, I still love as I know they are said to me out of true affection. Keep that in mind the next time I call you "Mo" instead of Monique or "Noogle" instead of Scott. It's just because I love you...

Home Improvement with Tinkerbell

Recently, Scott and I decided to switch credit card companies. We ended up going with a Disney Rewards card. When applying for the card, they give you a choice of 5 or 6 different designs to pick from for the front of the card. Scott picked a plain design that maybe had a silhouette of mouse ears, and I chose a different one. However, when the cards arrived, both had defaulted to the design I chose...Tinkerbell. Scott grumbled a bit, but stuck the card in his wallet and didn't think to much more about it.

Fast forward a few days...Scott stomps up the stairs to my office and slaps the card on my desk. He had just come from Home Depot where apparently he had received some funny looks for paying for his new power sander with an ethereal winged pixie on his card. So, in between my laughing fits, I called the customer service line and requested his card be changed. I admit that I was a little unnerved by the heavily accented gentleman on the other end of the line telling me that the new card would arrive in my mailbox having been carried by pixie dust.

I told Scott that as he awaits for his new card, he should just shop at Lowe's. I've always found them to be a little more progressive and open-minded. I prefer that in a business...and people.

But I Don't Like Snakes On My Head...

My office building has a small problem with unwanted creatures. The majority of the time it is limited to a stray mouse who has come inside searching for warmth or that stray candy bar in someone's desk drawer, but we also have bats who hang around in the parking garage and an occasional snake in the elevator by the back door.

However, whenever a new employee starts in our building, it isn't long before they hear THE creature story. The story that makes some rethink their employment. I wish I could say we are telling the story as some sort of hazing on the new person, but unfortunately it is 100% true. Snakes fall out of our ceiling. No, this doesn't happen everyday, but it has happened.

Recently it was time to tell the new girl about the snakes. (btw - this girl prompted the guy who sits next to me to send me an IM and ask if I was talking to Barbie) It just so happened that my very British friend Brian was standing there at the same time. So, I preceded to tell "Barbie" that we have had a previous incident of a snake falling from the ceiling and landing on an employee's desk while she was working. "Barbie" so eloquently replied, "but I don't like snakes on my head." (I'm assuming she thought the rest of us thought it was an employee perk!) Before I could think of an appropriate response, Brian, in his very proper British accent, replied, "that is why I carry an umbrella." I was biting the inside of my jaw to keep from laughing as I watched the wheels spin inside of "Barbie's" head as she contemplated walking the halls with an open umbrella. I assured her we had not experienced a snake drop in some time, but that she should keep an eye out as winter came closer. And, if the occasional one in the elevator bothers her, she should probably stick to the stairs.

I know I shouldn't laugh at someone else's expense. And really, I blame it all on Brian and his accent. It was funny though, and now the next time someone new starts and they hear the snake drop story, I'm sure someone will mention an umbrella. If I could just figure out a way to get HR to start putting them in the welcome bags...