I do NOT have a penis!!

Why, why, why do I get so many spam emails wanting to sell me something to make my *manhood* bigger, longer, thicker, etc.? I do NOT have a penis! I have NO idea what I signed up for that got me on this mailing list, but whatever it was I hope I enjoyed it. Yes, I have a dummy email account that I use for online shopping and such so I rarely check it, but when I do (which I did about 10 minutes ago) it is always full of emails advertising potency products or from girls named *Caprice* who would love to show me their pictures. GRRR!! Further to my frustration, my husband (who obviously DOES have a penis [and wouldn't he be thrilled that I'm discussing this in my blog]) does NOT receive these emails? Why am I the chosen one?

Okay - vent over - back to my regularly scheduled day.

The Luckiest Dog

I would never be as bold to say that my dog, Jake, is the smartest dog in the world. He's a little loopy and very prone to hide all of his toys in the shrubs. Of course a proud mama would always look for the best, so I have convinced myself that when he hangs his rubber ring on a branch and then drops his ball in between the leaves that he is actually just decorating his tree early for Christmas. The one thing I do know without a doubt is that he loves me, and today I think he did his best to try and make me smile.

We were outside for our evening game of ball. I throw the ball as far as I can and he chases after it like a rocket. Usually he will bring it back, but that is hit and miss. Tonight he took off running just like normal, but ran around the ball without stopping and headed back to me. He sat down about halfway between me and the ball. After saying "get the ball, come on, Jake, get the ball" ten to twenty times while he sat and looked at me I gave up and started back to the deck knowing he would follow. He didn't follow. He just sat there looking at me with his tongue hanging out and his head tilted. When I looked back, he put his nose down and rooted in the grass. He would look at me and then root the grass again. Well, anyone knows this is dog speak for "come here and see what I found."

So, I went over to see what my sweet puppy had found and discovered it was a 4-Leaf clover. Yes, he had his nose directly on a 4-leaf clover.

Now, I could choose to be logical at this moment and realize that it was hot outside and he was tired and didn't want to run so he sat down in a soft patch of grass to rest. OR, I could choose to think that my normally loopy dog sensed this was a bittersweet weekend for me and was trying to offer me a sign of love. I'm a pretty practical girl in most of my life, but for today I'm going to allow myself to accept this piece of magic.

The 4-Leaf clover? It's currently being pressed to adorn a scrapbook page in the future. Who knows, maybe tomorrow I'll find a pot of gold.

July 4th

Today begins a long holiday weekend. A holiday that celebrates the birth of freedom. July 4th has always been one of my favorite holidays. Families and friends coming together to cook hamburgers and hotdogs outside on a grill; to make homemade ice cream; to enjoy the beautiful summer sunshine. Later in the night, as the evening air cooled, big beautiful bursts of color would light up the sky. It all seemed very romantic to me. I still love the 4th of July, but now as I celebrate the birth of our nation, a little piece of my heart will cry over the loss of someone I loved.

My father passed away July 4, 2002. Interestingly, I think he would have been pleased to leave this world on that day. He was a Korean War veteran and very proud of his military service. We draped his coffin with an American Flag which my mom proudly has displayed on her mantel. One day it will adorn mine as well. I don't mean this post to be sad for anyone who may be reading it, but I can't help the fact that it is on my mind this weekend. I celebrate that he left the world without pain; that he spent his morning teasing my mom and talking with a neighbor friend; that he was sitting in his favorite chair on the carport when his time came. But, I will probably always torment myself with the fact that Scott had asked me that morning if I wanted to go spend the day at my parents and I said, "no".

So here we are, holiday weekend upon us. I fully intend to enjoy the Fireworks and to do my best to remember what this holiday means, but please understand if my smile isn't as wide as it may have been a few years ago.

Rest well, daddy.